Getting swept into an online argument has never been easier than it is today. None of us really have to look far to find a bad take or a flat-out lie that triggers a response out of us.
For trolls, though, the argument is the reward that they feed on to feel superior.
Once you realise what they’re after you’ll think twice about engaging with them altogether. Here are the 6 ways you give trolls power over you, and how to stop it.
1. When they can pull you into a fight you didn’t want
A troll feels powerful the second they can drag someone into a fight that was never theirs to begin with. Jumping into a thread that wasn’t about them gives them a sense of power because now the attention’s on them. They realize that they didn’t actually need facts, logic, or a good point. They just needed to make themselves impossible to ignore, and once you engage, they won.
2. When they make you defend yourself
Trolls never argue to learn anything. They seek out to corner you, knowing full well that defending yourself means playing by their rules. The more you try to defend yourself, the more in control they feel when they see you doing the work.
As long as you’re defending yourself, you’re not questioning them or challenging their intent. That reversal is the win for them. They get to be smug while you try to prove something they already decided to mock.
3. When you keep responding, because it shows they’re in control of your time
Just to see if you’ll keep falling for their stupid game, they will drag the argument out. The topic could hit a dead end and they’ll just find ways to keep it going.
Every time you respond, they know they hooked you. The longer you stay in it, the more powerful they feel that you can’t walk away. The scoreboard for them is: how long they can control your time while they effectively use their own.
4. When they can make you explain yourself while they ignore every point
They’ll ask a question they don’t care about just to keep you talking. And if you take the bait, you’ll find yourself laying out a detailed response while they scroll past it or pick out one word to mock. That mismatch is the point. It’s not a debate but a setup to make you do the work while they pretend to be unimpressed.
Trolls feel powerful when they know you’re putting in effort they don’t have to match. They’re watching how far you’ll go to be understood, while they ignore you on purpose.
5. When they get you off your original point and down a rabbit hole
It’s not long before the argument drifts far away from what you actually meant to address. It’s a power move when they can distract you from what mattered and keep you busy with irrelevant topics that don’t go anywhere. Causing you to lose direction works in their favor. The more the argument stays scattered, the more they stay entertained.
6. When they can make you look emotional while they act unbothered
Sometimes trolls don’t need to be aggressive to feel like they’re winning. Their goal is to make you look like the actual problem while they pretend to be unbothered. They know they have power over you when they can make you look like the emotional one. The more worked up you get, they win the upper hand for staying calm. Every time they pull that off, they walk away feeling untouchable.
How to stop them
Not every argument is worth your effort, and trolls count on the fact that you’ll forget that. They feed off your reactions and the time you don’t even realize you’re giving away. That’s what keeps them coming back: they know how to get people to trade attention for nothing.
Walking away may seem like you lost but it’s actually their loss once you understand what they’re doing and don’t see a reason to play. Let them be ignored. That’s the one outcome they can’t use.
Before you respond, remember what these trolls are really after. As tempting as it is to prove your point it only wastes your time. That’s not to say it’s not possible to hit them where it hurts. But the mental gymnastics involved and your chances at succeeding with that isn’t worth the time.
